Guilt...

I woke to what we call ghost pages... It's when your pager for whatever reason opens up and starts to sound like it's going to tone out to a fire call... At the moment it's beautiful, blue skys and the leaves are a wonderful color. My thinking is get some writing done for hubby and then go for a 3 mile run with my son Ian. Then go apple picking... What have I been up to with my book(The Kings of Angkor)? Well it's a balancing game of what to use extra money for when I get my Fire Department Check every quarter. I have invested in some online promotion. Want to do a book signing but to fork out enough money even with a discount and purchase books and promotional material to go along with it... is a small King's Ransom . Also this week I will be finally booking my flight, I have credit with Orbitz. So I am going to see what kind of deal I can get for Dec. 26 or the 27 and fly over on Eva air. I am trying to get a banner add done up with "All About Romance" I want to do a month slot, see how it goes. Yesterday one of my sons said something about their brother's room that will be vacant when my second oldest son goes to Cambodia with his oldest brother in a month's time... I didn't want him to keep thinking he was moving in so I guess I busted his bubble. Told him my plans to turn the one of two rooms into my office/writing room... Well that didn't make him very happy and then son #4 was even more upset because he was planning on taking the loft bedroom so he will no longer have to share a bedroom with the youngest... So for a while I felt really guilty. What to do? How can I make this work and everyone will be happy? It's not going to happen because I will still be working from two places... my hallway desk and my bed. I wake up every morning, make my bed and spread out all my books, notes, etc... Where is that paper or book? At the end of the day I pile it all back up, some on my desk, some on my bedside stands... I have read about a lot of authors who are in the same spot as me. They write where ever they have room. Some are best selling writers. One I can't remember her name but she would write on her laptop as she waited for one of her children to finish his sports practice. I did that a couple weeks ago, but for the most part I participate, I am out there running with him so that doesn't work also I find my best time for writing is mornings. Unless it's a dreary Sunday and it's pouring... then I am writing all day long. So what do I do? I am going with my gut feeling. I am the Mom. I pay the bills. No matter what I do I am at one point or another on their list... so the room is MINE. I am going to take it over whenever that time comes and make it into my work space. A desk you ask? I am building a counter to go the length of the wall that will face out the window. That's the thing. That space has two rooms. When I bought the house back in June of 2007 with my cousin that space was a dirt floor shed/barn. The back room was like a guest room for summer time. Since then we have insulated it more on the floor cause it's all open underneath but the front room we added walls. My cousin Will designed a trapezoid window . When Bob and I got married that was his office but that didn't work. He is now up in the hallway under the loft stairs. My desk, a French, Louis the XVI style is facing out the window. I love windows BUT the desk just isn't comfortable to work at. That was an argument with #3 son. "Why do you need a window? You can have the front room of the barn." Me: "No, I want to have a window that I can see out of, not look up and see out BUT look across..." Oh well ,I am never going to make them entirely happy